i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
