how can u be prego again
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
