Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
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