i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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