the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
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