somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
