Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
