Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
false alarm, still single
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
