After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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