I cockslap morals
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Randomize
