So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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