im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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