It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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