K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
