She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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