i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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