Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
How does one acquire holy water?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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