I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Randomize
