Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
