He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Randomize
