Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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