I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
