she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
