small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
