Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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