Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
