Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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