Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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