I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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