This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
