Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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