He is such a slut. More and more my type.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
