My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
