Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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