D3 body, D1 cock
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Randomize
