I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
