I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
