Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
we're so committed to being not committed
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