My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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