I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
