I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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