oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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