I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
