The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Can you repeat that, but with context?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
