Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
