So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
