We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
