I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
