OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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