you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
