I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
