So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
