i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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